While practicing, it is likely that you will have some frustration with your partner. Here are some tips:

• When something is not working, it is VERY hard to tell what’s wrong and who is at fault, tempting though that is. When two people are moving in this way, the dynamics are very complicated.
• Share the responsibility. Don’t blame each other.
• We do not recommend trying to analyze it and talk about it. This easily leads to blaming the other person, etc.
• Each of you should worry about what you are doing, not what the other person is doing.
• Each party should just keep doing their best to remember the corrections the teachers made in the previous session and integrate those.
• Any questions or difficulties that come up should be written down and brought to your teacher. Let us figure out the problems.
• For the leader: if what you want isn’t happening, don’t say anything to your follower, just try to make it more clear, try to make it unavoidable. You will hear “it’s always the leader’s fault”. Even though it’s not true, this phrase is a good idea, because if the leader tries to solve the problem, it makes them a better leader…

We don’t want you to feel you need to run out and buy real tango shoes right away. In case you want to do that we’ve put some links (look in the right hand column of this page) to places that have a nice selection of affordable shoes.

In the meantime, our best recommendation for a good cheap shoe to get you going is at the Garment District in Cambridge. They bought the contents of a tuxedo rental store including piles of very lightweight, flexible, men’s tuxedo shoes that would be great for tango. They’re charging either $6 or $8 a pair. If you like them, you can add suede to the shoes later on. Lots of cheap, sexy femme shoes there too.

Our students will be leading and following. Some leading women change their shoes as they change roles. This does not allow for the fluidity that we hope for in Queer Tango, so we hope you can learn both roles in a shoe you like.

• For following, it is more comfortable to have a heel on your shoe. Since the follower’s weight is almost always on the toes, when you lose your balance and start tipping, it’s a long way down to get the heel of your foot all the way to the floor. Having a high heel on your shoe means you catch yourself before you tip as far. With a very small movement of your foot you can use the shoe’s heel for support.

• It is possible to lead in high heels, if that’s your style.

• If high heels are not your style, then we recommend that you wear a men’s tango shoe. These come in a larger range of sizes than men’s shoes normally do, and they come with choices of heel height. Since you will be following and leading, we recommend you go with the tallest heel available (~3 cm, about an inch). That will give you the benefit you need when you’re following and you’ll be in a great shoe for leading.
• Men’s tango shoes are really elegant. You will love them! And you can get them in your size, so finally you can have a beautiful pair of men’s shoes. Many cost less than $100. They are made in Argentina. Guaranteedfit offers the 3cm heel only in “cuban”, which is slanted. Tango-wear offers 3cm in cuban or straight heel.

• Both of the online stores we recommend have shoes “in stock”. For not much more $ you can also get shoes custom made, which is great if you have narrow, wide, bunions, or anything else difficult about your feet. guaranteedfittangoshoes.com really is guaranteed. If the custom ones don’t fit they’ll give you back your $ or make another pair. This can take a while, so be patient. The other company we recommend, tango-wear, has more modern style and colors.

(We have no relationship with these shoe stores! But we spent some time looking on the internet for the nicest shoes.)